CTN ‘Idan’ Rough & Tough – Joel Ezra Nearly Cried – And Honestly? We Nearly Cried With Him

Edition 1

Tuesday, May 12, 2026

Welcome to the very first edition of CTN ‘Idan’ Rough & Tough.

If you are reading this and you spent your weekend watching Arsenal complain about VAR or Haaland score his 400th tap-in, we are not angry. We are simply disappointed.

Because while you were there, here — in Lagos, Enugu, Ikenne, and Bauchi — the real drama was unfolding. The kind of drama that makes European football look like a rehearsed Netflix series.

Let’s get into it.

THE IDAN OF THE WEEK: Joel Ezra (Enyimba)

The Performance: Left-back. Playing out of position. Created THREE big chances. Delivered pinpoint crosses that would make Trent Alexander-Arnold send a DM asking for tutorials.

The Result: Enyimba lost 2-0 to Kwara United.

The Reaction: “I nearly cried,” Ezra told Pulse Sports after the match.

And here is where we at CTN ‘Idan’ Rough & Tough must pause and give this man his flowers — and also his therapy bill.

Imagine this: You are a right-footed player deployed at left-back. You are marauding forward like a man possessed. You deliver a cross so perfect that your teammate Chidera has an OPEN NET from SIX YARDS. The goalkeeper is literally nowhere. It is easier to score than to miss.

And your teammate misses.

Not just misses — annihilates the chance. Probably sent it to the parking lot.

Ezra said: “As a full-back, whenever you are attacking, if they don’t use that opportunity, the opponent will use the space you left. It is frustrating; you will nearly cry because you are going and coming, putting in crosses, but nobody is there to put them in.”

The Idan Verdict: Joel Ezra, you are THIS week’s Idan. Not because Enyimba won — they didn’t. Not because you scored — you didn’t. But because you played your heart out on a pitch where your teammates were busy auditioning for “Own Goals & Misses: The Movie.”

Idan!

ROUGH & TOUGH MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Enyimba’s Attack

Let us talk about Enyimba.

Nine-time NPFL champions. The People’s Elephant. A club with history so rich it should be taught in schools.

And they are now sitting in 15th position — dangerously close to a relegation battle.

The same Enyimba that once dominated African football is now watching their left-back do the work of three attackers while their forwards cannot hit a barn door from six yards.

There is a video circulating. We will not name names (okay, fine, it’s Chidera). The ball arrives. The net is empty. The goalkeeper is on another continent. And somehow — SOMEHOW — the ball does not enter the goal.

If that were in the EPL, it would be on every meme page for the next decade.

But this is the NPFL. So we laugh. Then we cry. Then we laugh again.

Rough & Tough, indeed.

WHERE EUROPEAN LEAGUES FEAR TO TREAD

You know what you will never see on Sky Sports?

A minister of the Federal Republic of Nigeria hopping on X (formerly Twitter) to compare a VAR decision to the Supreme Court.

But that is exactly what happened this weekend when Festus Keyamo, Nigeria’s Minister of Aviation and Aerospace Development, tweeted after Arsenal’s late goal:

“Arsenal just got a sound judgement of the Supreme Court of VAR in the last minute.”

Nigerians, being Nigerians, immediately responded.

One user said: “Just like the Supreme Court of Nigeria.”

Another added: “Na this kind thing APC Arsenal fans Dey like.”

And look — we respect the minister’s commitment. But here at CTN ‘Idan’ Rough & Tough, we have a suggestion:

Minister sir, next weekend, watch a local game.

No VAR. No Supreme Court. Just 22 men, one ball, and a referee who may or may not have seen that foul.

The drama is guaranteed. The memes write themselves.

MATCHDAY 37 UPDATE: The Title Race Is Alive and Well

While you were sleeping, the NPFL delivered.

At the top:

· Enugu Rangers beat Bendel Insurance 2-1 to stay on 65 points. Veteran striker Godwin Obaje scored a brace (more on him below).
· Rivers United came from behind TWICE to beat already-relegated Wikki Tourists 3-2 in Bauchi. They have 64 points.

Meaning: The title will be decided on the FINAL DAY — May 24.

Rangers travel to Ikorodu City. Rivers United host Katsina United at home.

If your blood pressure is not already rising, you are not paying attention.

At the bottom:

· Bayelsa United and Wikki Tourists have been relegated.
· Bayelsa fought hard — took the lead against Remo Stars through Ofem Nneoyi — but Victor Mbaoma happened.
· Enyimba is not safe. 46 points. 15th position. One game left. The nine-time champions are genuinely looking over their shoulders.

Top Scorers Watch (13 goals each):

· Godwin Obaje (Rangers) — now on 14 after his brace
· Victor Mbaoma (Remo Stars)
· Joseph Arumala (Ikorodu City)

THE MBAOMA INTERVIEW: “Jesus, Jesus”

We must give a special mention to Victor Mbaoma.

After Remo Stars’ 2-1 comeback win against Bayelsa United — a result that kept their survival hopes alive — the captain spoke to Premium Times about the moment Bayelsa took the lead.

His words:

“All I was saying in my mind was, Jesus, Jesus. I was confused. I was overwhelmed. Shocked, exactly. But I was like, I know we can do it.”

That is the most Nigerian football quote we have ever read.

Not “we stuck to the game plan.” Not “the lads showed character.”

“Jesus, Jesus.”

Victor, you are a hero. And for that honesty alone, you get a mention in the debut edition of this column.

Idan! (Provisional — pending your final day performance.)

RESULTS AT A GLANCE (MATCHDAY 37)

Shooting Stars 1-0 Barau FC

El-Kanemi Warriors 0-0 Niger Tornadoes

Kwara United 2-0 Enyimba FC (Joel Ezra nearly cried. We understand.)

Remo Stars 2-1 Bayelsa United (Victor Mbaoma: “Jesus, Jesus.”)

Enugu Rangers 2-1 Bendel Insurance (Godwin Obaje brace)

Katsina United 4-1 Ikorodu City

Wikki Tourists 2-3 Rivers United (Twice they came from behind. Twice.)

Abia Warriors 0-2 Kun Khalifat

Kano Pillars 1-0 Warri Wolves

Nasarawa United 1-0 Plateau United

Source: NPFL Matchday 37 official results

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LOOKING AHEAD: MATCHDAY 38 (MAY 24)

Title Deciders:

· Ikorodu City vs Rangers International
· Rivers United vs Katsina United

Relegation Battles:

· Enyimba vs El-Kanemi Warriors (prayer warriors needed)
· Warri Wolves vs Abia Warriors
· Bendel Insurance vs Remo Stars

All matches kick off simultaneously at 4pm on May 24.

Do NOT make plans that day.

PARTING SHOT

We started CTN ‘Idan’ Rough & Tough because Nigerian local football deserves more than occasional highlights and post-match fights that go viral for the wrong reasons.

It deserves attention. It deserves respect. And yes, it deserves a column that will laugh with it, cry with it, and occasionally ask: “How did that ball NOT enter the net?”

Every Tuesday, we will be here.

Same time. Same chaos. Same Idan energy.

Go and watch the NPFL. Your European club will still be there tomorrow.

Idan!

— CTN Sports

Catch the next edition Tuesday, May 19. Send your hot takes, missed chances, and questionable referee decisions to our social media handles. We might feature you.